Throw it All Away
by Shadow Orenda
Summary: Shadow the hedgehog is facing a whole new experience: doubt. [songfic; COMPLETE]


A/N: That's right! I, Shadow Orenda, who is seriously not named after a certain hedgehog (Really, I had the name before he ever existed!), am actually going to attempt an angst! It's my first, so please, if you're going to read it, review it. Let me know how I did, please.  
  
Another thing: This fic probably takes place around the time shortly after Shadow and Sonic meet for the first time. Or something.  
  
Oh yeah, something random: Shadow/Amy is the dumbest pairing I have ever heard. And this is not a Shadow/Maria fic, either. I mean, interspecies? That's just wrong. Thank you, and enjoy the fic.  
  
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now, wake up  
  
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I am the ultimate life form..  
  
Aren't I?  
  
Why do I find myself doubting? I never have before..  
  
Is it Maria?  
  
But this is what she wanted.. isn't it?  
  
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everyone tries to be straight  
  
but things are still unchanged  
  
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I'm trying to do what she wants.. or at least I think I am.. but lately I've been thinking.. I've been thinking that I might be wrong..  
  
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It's useless to resist  
  
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"Give them a reason to live.. Give them something to hope for.." That's what she told me told to do.. But I've been neglecting my promise.. I've been trying to avoid the guilt, but..  
  
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their efforts will be wasted  
  
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But lately it keeps coming back to haunt me and I just don't know anymore. I don't know if what I'm doing is right.. I don't know if what I'm doing is what Maria wanted.  
  
But I can't think about that now. I'm too close to my goal..  
  
The question is, is it really the right goal? Is this what I was created to achieve?  
  
Or was I created to make Maria's wish come true?  
  
But I can't doubt, not now. Too late for doubts.  
  
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head straight for your goal by any means  
  
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If I start doubting, I will fall. I can't show signs of weakness now. To do so would spell my failure to fulfill my promise to Maria.  
  
But have I already failed at that?  
  
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there is a door that you've never opened  
  
there is a window with a view you've never seen  
  
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I don't know anymore. I can't keep on doubting myself but I just can't seem to stop because deep inside I know I'm wrong..  
  
But I can't be wrong!  
  
I can't doubt! I won't doubt! I just have to reach my goal! It doesn't matter if it's the wrong goal, because at least I'm trying!  
  
..right?  
  
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get there no matter how long it takes  
  
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Even if I'm wrong.. I'm trying, right? I'm trying. But would Maria see it that way, or would she only see that I'm going against my word?  
  
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Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk..  
  
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Maybe.. maybe I should just give up.  
  
But I can't! Give up on everything I've worked for? No! Never- I couldn't!  
  
Could I?  
  
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throw it all away  
  
no one can break you, nobody can tear you  
  
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Then again, who's to stop me?  
  
No! even if that's would Maria would have wanted.. well, maybe she was wrong! She must have been wrong! There's no good in humans. They are the ones that killed her!  
  
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you live an endless life forever  
  
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They don't deserve hope! Humans deserve only death!  
  
..Maria was a human. She didn't deserve death..  
  
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oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk  
  
throw it all away  
  
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But that's just it. The one human being alive that didn't deserve to die, and other humans killed her. I must have my revenge..  
  
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you see a light wherever you go  
  
you have to face it again and again..  
  
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..whether that's what Maria wanted or not.  
  
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A/N: In case you were wondering, the song this is set to is "Throw it All Away," Shadow's theme song in SA2:B. And again, please review this. I really want to know how it turned out. 


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